By Clio GourevitchEvery year at my school, we use the first four days of the year to have a Writing and Thinking Workshop. In these workshops, we follow prompts, analyze texts, and generally warm ourselves up for the school year ahead. On the first day of writing and thinking, two days ago, one of the prompts that we had to write about was where we thought we would be in two years from now, when we were graduating. We had around five minutes to answer this. I immediately wrote down how I wanted to be heading off to a good college, free of the pandemic, and with a new understanding of what I would like to do in life. I hoped for good grades, good luck in getting the classes I had hoped for, and I hoped that I had been able to see everyone again. Later that night, I was on a call with some friends, and we started talking about setting goals for that year. I repeated a few more of these ideas of mine, including a perfect score on the SAT and more, yet they immediately corrected me. The point of setting goals is to say something you think you can achieve, something to strive for, they told me. Of course I could continue to strive for these nearly unattainable goals, but what was the point. If, in two years, I were to find myself in any different position from what I had imagined, wouldn’t I simply be disappointed? I soon realized that I had misunderstood the prompt from earlier that day. The prompt had asked where I thought I would be. I replied with my hopes. The original prompt is, of course, a far more difficult question to respond to because there is no real answer. However, it remains a far better question. So much in daily life do we set unrealistic expectations for ourselves, beating ourselves up over tiny details, and yet in the end, we usually are fine. If I were now to set up an entire life plan for myself, and follow it to a T, I would certainly end up unhappy. Although the exact numbers on this are varied, it has been shown that the average person changes their career several times in their lives. Despite my obvious wish to know where I will go in my life, I must accept the idea that my life is likely to change, and in ways that I will not always plan. I do not need to decide now where I should be throughout my life. As kids, we continually ask ourselves and others “what do you want to be when you grow up?” and “I don’t know” is never an acceptable answer. Throughout my life, I have thought of many answers to this question. In first grade, I would always respond saying I wanted to be an artist. My grandmother is an artist, and I always have loved to draw. I still consider this as an option. For a period in middle school, I loved my math class. That year, I might have said my goal was to be a mathematician. Recently, I have been less sure than ever, yet I have a few ideas in my mind. My dad gave me an old film camera of his, and I now am really excited about that. In the past week or so, I’ve spent my extra time pouring through photography books, and thinking of the best ways to use the camera and this strange time for a project. This past summer I also have been reading quite a bit. While reading, I have thought about how wonderful an ability it is to be able to craft such intricate imagery with simple words. So, I suppose writing is another option. I’m not sure which of these, if any, are what I will choose to do, yet this constant thought train I’m sure will never end. At this rate, my plans may change because of something as simple as a good movie or a thoughtful present. Thinking about plans and setting goals is helpful, yet spouting lists of impossible wishes is not. The last sentence of my original response read, “In two years, I want everything back as it should be.” In that sentence alone, I set up all of my expectations. In two years, I still hope to have figured more out about what I will do, what I will achieve, where I will be, and all the other questions I may have about my future, yet from now on I will attempt to think more realistically about this issue. Neither the original prompt nor my immediate interpretation of the prompt was perfect, but ignoring the future is not an option either. Instead we should all try to focus on one thing at a time, while avoiding unchangeable rules and expectations for our future selves. Clio Gourevitch, BHSEC Queens
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
|