Quarantine day nine. Being in small spaces with anyone is stressful, but with family doesn’t help. I don’t know anyone who has coronavirus yet, but I also don’t know anyone who got tested, so that doesn’t mean much. I hope nobody I know gets seriously affected by it. Two weeks ago if I had told myself this was going to happen, I would laugh. I still cannot totally process it. It feels as though things like this should not happen. It feels dystopian and wrong--it’s scary.
Last week was pretty bad if I'm being honest. I forget how stressful this time in my life is because it feels like it shouldn't necessarily be stressful. Sure, I'm only 15 and don't have any life-changing problems to deal with right now. But still, sometimes, life is too much. Last week is an example of life being too much. I felt stress from all aspects of my life. Even the things that used to bring me a sense of relief during stressful times became another thing I stressed over. An example of this being music. I feel like I’d been using music as an unhealthy way to ignore what was going on around me. Looking back, this serves as a reminder of how everything needs to be used in moderation. Too much of a good thing can sometimes become a bad thing. When it came to school, the prospect of this upcoming midterm week seemed especially daunting. I felt a complete lack of motivation to study or prepare. The worst part about it all was that I couldn’t even necessarily pin down what was making me feel so down. It’s a very specifically terrible way to feel because there is no outright solution. What made me feel better was the weekend that followed. I caught up on sleep and did things that made me happy, like seeing my friends and eating sushi. I guess the point of this story about my epically terrible week is that sometimes you just have to get through whatever hard time you’re facing. There is, in fact, a light at the end of the tunnel. There is the weekend at the end of every bad week. You just gotta hang on long enough to see it.
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Co-president and Founder of NYSMHO